Thursday, October 05, 2017

So it's been determined.

About a month ago I was evaluated as an adult to see if I was on the Autism Spectrum. The woman who assessed me is part of the West Island Therapy Center where my therapist is, and specializes in diagnosing autism.

Despite seeing me for just one hour in a professional setting, where I was on my best learned behaviours, she was able to see that I was on the spectrum. Things that stuck out for her was the way I use language, sometimes it's very atypical. Also when I was asked to read a story, while my voice had the proper intonations {my mom had me practice reading out loud with right tones...} my body language did not match my voice at all. Also she found my emotions sometimes did not match my body language.  All very subtle stuff to observe in a one hour assessment.

My therapist in the 8 years he'd been seeing me had missed it though as he now looks back he's realizing that things he attributed to 'personality quirks' were actually behaviours on the spectrum. He says that with women, unless you are especially non verbal, even a trained therapist in learning disabilities can just think the person is quirky rather than autistic.

I'm happy with this assessment. For the first time in my life I KNOW what is 'wrong' with me so to speak. I've always known I was different though not to what extent. As I got older I realized to what extent. Now I have to realize that instead of thinking I'm a loser who can't do anything right, I have to start looking at the fact that despite my limitations, I have managed to get pretty far in life and I should stop beating myself up for mistakes. I'm different not less.

Also this does not negate the ADHD diagnosis, the ADHD is just a subset of the ASD.

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