Saturday, October 19, 2013

Not sure how a headscarf affects someone's professionalism.

I remembered recently my first experience of interacting with a veiled woman. It was during one of my 2 labours, in either 1987 or 1988. I cannot remember which one it was.I do know that my experience in the hospital for the birth of my 2 daughters was a mixed bag. Most hospital personnel while competent are generally busy, rushed and abrupt.  I'm not saying they were not efficient and did not get the job done, but they did not spend any time treating you like a human being.

In comes a very young nurse, she was in her early 20's, and wearing a white veil.  Her features were middle eastern.  I was in pain and going through labour, a nurse is a nurse.  She was the sweetest, most kindest nurse I have ever met to this day. She wore a beautiful smile, asked me if I could use more pillows, asked me how she could make my labour more comfortable. Offered to massage my back, my feet. Offered to sit for a while, and hold my hand, or even cuddle with me or hold me, if I wanted.  Those who know me know I don't care much for being touched by strangers. I had my husband holding my hand most of the labour, but I remember he had gone for a break when she was around.  She stayed with me as long as she could, she was calm, peaceful, smiling, pleasant and made me feel good, as good as one can feel when going through the pains of labour!

I remember thinking, that perhaps where she came from, that nursing was more about caring and treating a patient humanly then about just fixing the physical problems.It's also forever gotten me to know that veil or no veil, she was a very sweet woman. Nearly 30 years later I remember her as one of the positive experiences of  childbirth.

I never felt her veil was threatening or encouraging me to be Muslim. It was who she was, and how she was comfortable. This did not prevent her from being the best nurse she could be and a really caring person.

This IDIOT Janette Bertrand, can go search for a white French Quebecois doctor if she likes,  I'm personally going to chose the one who treats me with the most respect and the most competance.

Just like I'm very satisfied that my male therapist, a psychologist I've been seeing for close to 3 years, is of Israeli origin.  He's the first male therapist who did not make me feel uncomfortable. Fact he wasn't born here and came in his late teens does not take away from how much therapy with him has helped me.  I was amused when he scheduled an appointment with me which has to be moved because he scheduled it on a Jewish holiday.  :) You'd think he's remember!

I love the fact that Montreal is very multicultural and you don't know who you will meet. My driving instructor in the mid 90's was a wonderful Haitian man, who was highly educated in Haiti, but could not find job in his field in Montreal. Instead he taught people how to drive.  Not only did I learn how to drive with him, but was delighted by his vast knowledge and stimulating conversations. I'm sure the fact I could have awesome conversations with the man, helped me learn how to drive so much faster.

I love where I work that we chose people based on merit, not on appearance. Currently in my team I have 1 guy who's a mix of French and English of Quebecois origin.  I have one guy who was born in the Philippines, very Christian and immigrated in his late teens early 20's. I have another guy who was born in the Caucus region of what used to be the USSR, with a Jewish wife, who has been in the Russian army, and who immigrated in his 30's.  I have one guy, Muslim,  who is from Algeria, who immigrated with his wife, also in their early 30's I believe. My last guy, is a Vietnamese boat person. From what I know he left Vietnam multiple times  by boat and was caught many times before he finally managed to escape for good.    Then there's a guy I work in close contact with daily  who came from Chili as a child as his family escaped the horrible situation there.

It makes for a highly interesting workplace with a high level of respect among the employees. It is also a great environment for interns, both those who are new immigrants to Canada, and those  Quebecois who come from remote regions of Quebec and get their first experience working with  an "ethnic diversity", not seen in remote regions of Quebec.

I've seen one year where I had a Haitian student and a very sheltered white student, who'd never met a black before. By the time their 4 months were up, these two youngsters were going on outings together with their girlfriends on week-ends and really enjoying each others company.

I'll be honest, I'm a French girl who's mom sent her to English school. In a predominantly Italian neighbourhood. I was teased for being the French kid at school. Then I'd go home and was teased for being the only French kid in my neighbourhood   going to English school.  I was made to feel I didn't belong anywhere, so as I got older, I began spending time with folks with whom I felt I belonged. Those ended up being new arrivals and the children of immigrants.  I remember one year in CEGEP being at a friends place for dinner with our common friends and the dad, a high executive at Alcan commented his house was like the United Nations. Everyone there was from a different background. By then I would proudly announce my (step) dad was from Belgium, so I was the Belge girl there that day.

This is the kind of environment my daughters grew up in. It amused me to no end when my eldest dated a boy in Drummondville in her late teens, and she went there to visit him one week-end. When she came back she messaged me "MOM, did you realize they were all white and french speaking in Drummondville".  It amused me that she noticed how homogeneous the population is outside large cities.

Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike the Quebecois, but I prefer those who are like me and open to others. Overall it's sad this whole charter thing, because I find we are nicer and friendlier and more opened to strangers here, then they are out west or in most countries.  Typical Quebecois will be weary of strangers and distrusting of new people, but once the ice is broken generally they are willing to accept differences and befriend others.  There's a few bad apples and this stupid proposed Charter is making them come out of the woodwork loudly and making seem like the rest of us are for as well...

I'm not.  I feel comfortable enough with who I am to not feel at all threatened by hijabs, or large crosses, or yarmulkes or turbans. I live in an area that has not only churches, but mosques, synagogues and Hindu temples. I run into people of all walks of life and I'm comfortable being me in all of that.

I'm off my soapbox for now.

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